Married at First Sight star Derek Sherman admits he once forced himself to believe he was in love before, and since that relationship didn’t work out, he didn’t want history to repeat itself with wife Katie Conrad.
“I want to fall in love; that’s all I’ve ever really wanted,” Derek insisted on the February 26 episode of Married at First Sight: Unfiltered on Lifetime.
“But at the same time, I don’t want to fool myself into anything. Because I’ve been in this situation where I’ve kind of, like, forced myself to maybe believe I was in love.”
“And I don’t want to do that,” he added. “I want this to be as organic as possible.”
During the Unfiltered broadcast, Derek watched back a Season 10 clip in which he was shown telling his father feelings of excitement for Katie had dissipated after their honeymoon and they had lost some of their initial spark or “electricity.”
Derek’s father acknowledged getting married to a stranger was “an adrenaline rush” and so it was completely natural for his son to be coming back down from the high.
“We’re at the point where we really like each other but there’s no real substance yet,” Derek pointed out to his dad in the clip.
“I can’t say I love her yet. You know, honestly, I can’t. [But] I think there’s a chance I may, and, to me, that’s good enough to keep going with this. I’m figuring this out as I go along.”
After watching the clip, Unfiltered host Jamie Otis asked Derek how he was feeling about Katie at the time the couple had moved in together and were trying to get used to the new living arrangement.
“Are you having big concerns about falling in love?” Jamie asked.
“I’m not having concerns about falling in love,” Derek replied. “I guess I’m just trying to be somewhat realistic with myself.”
Derek has said on Married at First Sight’s tenth season there was “no way” he’d love Katie in eight weeks, but Katie definitely thought it was possible for love to bloom in that amount of time.
Katie therefore worried she might get hurt and Derek would find her unworthy or undeserving of his love, which created insecurities in Katie and problems in their marriage.
Derek’s Married at First Sight co-star Mindy Shiben joined him on Unfiltered and offered her opinion on the topic.
“I feel like maybe it shouldn’t be forced, like, you shouldn’t worry about, ‘Am I going to be in love? Am I going to be in love?’ And kind of let it happen,” suggested Mindy, who married Zach Justice on the show.
“Because no one is asking us to fall in love at eight weeks, right? And we have excellent experts that will help us do what we need to do to build our relationship, but I don’t think that there needs to be so much focus on just falling in love.”
Jamie then asked Derek whether his history of never having been in love before potentially held him back from falling in love with Katie.
“So to be honest, maybe I have too much of an expectation of what love should be,” Derek admitted.
“And I’m definitely aware of what it is, but at the same time, maybe I’ve built it up to be on this pedestal. So that’s why I think it’s so hard to get to.”
Derek, however, also said in the Unfiltered broadcast he never thought falling in love in eight weeks was “irrational.”
“I don’t think it’s irrational and it can easily happen, but I don’t really believe in love at first sight,” Derek explained.
“I think it takes a minimum of five minutes — the best case scenario — but I’m just trying to be realistic. I mean, I just married a stranger and when you move in with each other, like, you have to cross a lot of hurdles.”
Married at First Sight’s tenth season so far has shown Katie and Derek having one of the more solid relationships out of the five couples who tied the knot.
Not only did they have instant chemistry and seem to hit it off immediately, but Katie and Derek also consummated their marriage during their honeymoon and developed great communication skills.
However, Katie believed it was a red flag, or at least something to be concerned about, that Derek had never been in love before.
Katie worried she was going to fall hard for her husband only for him to reject her later on and realize he couldn’t love her.
But Derek was growing sick and tired of Katie repeatedly talking about his dating history and asking for reassurance about their future together. Derek called it “bullsh-t” and didn’t think it was crazy he hadn’t met the right person yet at age 27.
“I don’t f-cking know what’s going to happen at the end of this,” Derek said, before storming off with frustration. “I think it’s f-cked up it’s being held against me.”
However, Derek later apologized to Katie for snapping at her, and Katie expressed how she was sorry for bringing up the same issue all the time.
Derek at least acknowledged he had “a crush” on Katie and said he felt optimistic about where their relationship was headed — and Katie did too, as long as Derek promised not to lose his temper like that again.
“I forgive you, and I’m sorry for, I guess, dwelling on the issue. And I will stop,” Katie said.
“I don’t want to break your heart,” Derek noted. “But don’t break mine.”
Married at First Sight, which is currently airing Wednesday nights at 8PM ET/PT on Lifetime, also stars Taylor Dunklin and Brandon Reid, Meka Jones and Michael Watson, and Jessica Studer and Austin Hurd.